Complacency versus contentedness
There are so many things that I would like to be doing. There are so many things that I need to be doing. As I near my dream of sustaining myself as a writer, there are more and more things that I need to do. However, there is a lot of conventional wisdom out there that tells you to “quiet your mind” and to “live in the present.” I don’t disagree with that, and I can truly see the value in it, however, it becomes more difficult to balance than walking a tight rope. I, particularly, am a person who is easily distracted. If I am doing this; I think I should be doing that. If I am doing that; I think I should be doing this. It takes a great amount of conscious effort for me to be okay with the thing that I am doing now. I am learning in my old age that I have to focus on what I am accomplishing in this moment rather than all the things I am not doing. It is a constant mental tug of war, and some might even argue that I have ADD or ADHD, and perhaps they’re right. I just think this is how I was made and like everyone on the planet I have things to figure out in order to more efficiently go about the business of running me.
So tonight, as I made chicken cacciatore for my family along with broccoli and a tossed salad I couldn’t help but think, “I should be writing. I should be working on my blog. I should… I should…” but the fact of the matter is that I should also be doing what I need to do to take good care of my family. I should be doing what I need to do to be healthy and forge healthy relationships. It is perfectly wonderful for me to be at peace. Being quiet, content and at peace does not mean that I am lazy, not living to my potential or somehow shirking my responsibilities no matter how much my crazy busy brain might want to argue to the contrary.